friends.

i guess to compare myself with all my friends, i am still very much living in my past. i am the one with the least of experience of how breaking out of secondary school life and carry on with life feels like - making new friends, meeting new people, creating more (new) memories. but i guess none of my friends has yet experience how being faraway from home and with barely anyone to talk to feels like. sure enough i have had met with many newer people. so new. but i guess its not the same.

1. i wonder how making new friends feels like?
2. will making new friends make you miss your friends less?
3. will new friends make better friends than your friends?
4. lets say if i am here sitting with a new found friend, will the thought of hoping this was not her but instead is my friend from home come across my mind?
5. will this happen? has this happen to you before?
6. do friends stay forever?
7. how should i feel if my close friends has other close friends?

i know this is all part of growing up and going out. but i don't know, it seems not very right to me.

i know i do not own my friends, neither do they own me. we are free to make new friends, no doubt. but i guess i am not used to making new friends. because my friends now are people that understands me from my very core, i believe to some extend, yes. sometimes they know me better than i do. i need not do anything to fit in or to fit in better. as if born to be friends, somehow bumped to each other and friends we are, and with a blink of an eye, we've been friends eversince.

do new friends suppose to work that way too? as in bumped and be friends? i guess making new friends needs a hefty effort. it as if starting all over again. to learn to trust to understand to smile to talk to laugh...

can i burp as loud as possible and still not be socially rejected?** i wonder.

i may take a whole week to eplain to my new friend that i seek for kebahagiaan, will this new friend EVER understand what this special phenomenon mean?** i wonder.

**but see, i somehow have friends that somehow accept me for burping so disgustingly loud.
**and see, i somehow have friends that are just there to understand what kebahagiaan mean and are there to share the ride with me too.

but i guess its out of anyone's control. but new friends or not, i hope that the bond that we share will always be there, as tight as it was, forever.

for i miss all the memories we shared, all the memories we accidentally created, all the laughters we shared, all the kopi-o we drank, all the songs we sang, all the alleys we walked, all the krazrkar experiences that we went through, all the suicidal acts we attempted, all the balloons we popped, all the cupacakes we baked, all the breakfast we had, all the swearing we uttered, ... ... ...


friends are gifts. though they maybe some deformation here and there and everywhere, they are beautiful. they are special. they keep me company. they bring meaning to me.

friends for life.