Saturday, July 14, 2012

911, I need my friends back!

Hello there one more time.
Yesterday, when I decided that blogging might be another way to pass my time, I was briefly reading through Jenn's blog (it felt like a brief read because most of her posts are one sentence post, lets you create your own thoughts, haha), anyway, I came to one that she had wrote last year, few days before 2012, toasting the year-end to our great friendship among our friends. She started the post by mentioning how VERY different we all are, in terms of character, personality, genetically, etc. Indeed, I cannot agree more. Which had made me think, what would all of us be like, if we weren't friends with each other; to not have all the opposites of one another to keep a balance in our extremities (but I'd also say that because we are friends with each other, our extremities goes out of balance sometimes, because our friends really accept for what a whack we are, or I am).

First up -
Jennifer. I've mentioned this again and again many times. If Jenn, not for all the loud and obnoxious us she have around her, she'd be one hell of a nerdy, long girl playing chest by the corner of the classroom. Probably like the tall skinny version of Ugly Betty, ya, no? Trust me. She could have had a great career playing badminton and chest, instead of netball. I bet if she had not fallen in love with us, she would have all the same looking friends surrounding her now; reading novels in Lake Garden while she plays her guitar, they talk about serious stuffs, and plan their future way head ahead. I am so tempted to mention names of some people that would have ended up her friends, but it is really not nice to mention names. Haha. Let me know if you disagree.

Tan Mizen. There is clearly no denying, if it wasn't for us, I wouldn't say cool, at all, haha, people, this is what will be of Tan Mizen, let the picture say it all -
We definitely made a very helpful influence on her. Hahaha. Oh my, the photo really cracks me up. (: Her and all her lala friends. Drawing anime, wearing funky florescent clothes!!! 

Cheah. It is krazy how I'd imagine her to be in it weren't for us. I bet no one sees it coming. I totally see her as this neighbourhood gangsta lovin'. The one that if she'd walk out of the house, she'd think that everyone would pause a breath. She'd probably be a good friend of Mizen; like you know how lala girls always have this one or two awkward gangsta looking female friends. Hahahaha. 

Beh Shuh Pyng. She would be the most indifferent style you'd see. Still being driven around by her mother. A total badass that is still driven by the father. Don't get me wrong, she turns out to be quite a badass, but sure enough, our undying support and encouragement had let her retain her badassness WITH a driver's license. *wink*. Yes? She would totally be fit to be a child bully, you know, bullying those kids who come by to her restaurant. Asking them for more money than what they bought. Totally. Nasty-ass.

Tan Ezen. For her part, if it wasn't for us to help keep her youthfulness, to have friends who feed her krazy side, doing things she'd never imagined she'd ever do at her age. If not for us, Ezen -

Cheng Txin. Continues to be like the person I first saw her on the first day of class in 1K1. I wish I have a picture of that one! Eating popcorns while teaching her tuition classes. 

I am not going to try to mention everyone here because I don't think I want to hurt so many people's feelings with my honest opinion. Also, I don't want to end up having a nightmare of all my friends being who I wrote them to be.
But though, my friends absolutely and definitely kept my insanity in control and my sanity in check. No words can come close to describe how our different persons has touch the lives of one another, how we learnt from each other's views, opinions and practices. How much I learnt of love through the sincerity of my friends. I am forever thankful, for how much they tolerate my nonsense - this post for example. If I had bitchy people for friends, I bet this blog post would be a break up post. Haha. 

Without Jennifer, I'd never be able to learn how delicious a pineapple tart can be. 
Without Tan Mizen, I'd never be able to learn that mushroom can be a hairstyle.
Without Cheah, I'd never be able to experience not sleeping for more than 24 hours and going hiking the morning after. 
Without Beh Shuh Pyng, I'd never have met someone who had to take driving license for record breaking times and never would have been able to taste the best wantan mee in the world!
Without Tan Ezen, I'd not have someone who'd be able to entertain me about kebahagiaan 24/7.
Without Cheng Txin, I'd never have been able to ride on a motorcycle racing a car!

I love you all. 

And I hope everyone had had a wonderful iced coffee day. 

Friday, July 13, 2012

Change is what good.

Ah wow. Wow. I am here because I am bored to my core, my deepest deepest core of desperation. At the same time, being bored means having no one to talk to about my philosophical ways of thoughts. Logging in to this blog, so much has changed, it literally took me more than a minute to find my way to my main page. I remember those days when I used to read blogs a whole lot, always very entertained by fellow friend, Ily, always wacky; and always urging on my friends to update their blog so I'd have something to read - so much has changed since.

This is one sad pathetic Jane writing the words to this blog. I hate to say, you know, I know, we all know, this is one suckiest summer feeding to my suicidal self. The highest point of sadness and sorrow lies in this summer, something that may haunt me for quite awhile; but I would be wrong to not say that it did trail with a deem of joy.

For this sacrifice I took to let go this summer for home, it came with the biggest price ever. It did not slip my mind initially when I said to myself, maybe, maybe, I'd survive this summer drought - sure enough, life is a gamble, it is a risk-taking s.o.b. And because it is me, because it is me, life sure smack me in the face just when I allowed myself to take the gamble. Life is not fair. Losing my granma was immense; to feel the feel of true anger, frustration and so much anger, towards myself, towards them - who will never understand me.

I was doing some dishes just right before I came stumbling to write a blog. Looking out the window as I was scrubbing them dishes, I had thought about the impossibilities of how people always say that, one chapter is closed and another opens, I don't think life works that way. Chapters of life does not open and close, at least not easy, not at all. I picture my life, in the final ending, I have chapters and chapters left wide open; even if I had moved to live on the 29th chapter, 28 chapters would be opened. If one is open and one is closed, how do we ever get rich in our lives? We need every chapter we ever gained, and that's how ones life would be enriched - with all the beautiful people - my awesome friends with uncanny niceness and tolerance for me. I miss you all.

As for me, I am gonna take my time to open new chapters, I am well and fine living off the old ones. Like this quote, I've taken as one of my life's motto, "there's no need to rush, we're all just waiting, waiting to die" from City and Color's "Waiting".

You all have a great coffee day.