confusions.

i am confused.

i always mistaken Shell gas station for McDonalds. it would be like, 'oh, i think i might wanna get meself some fries..but dang, its the Shell station.'

this is, of course, because of the similar colours. from afar, when i see, red-yellow, it means McDonalds. but its actually Shell gas station. and around here, many Shell stations have McDonalds. (like a partnership or somewhat, that where there is a Shell station there is a McDonalds.) so sometimes, it is McDonalds that i am seeing from far, but come near, it transforms to Shell station. therefore, now, i find it hard to trust the colour red-yellow.

till now, i do not know why, i am still not used to getting to the drivers seat of the car on the left hand side. i would walk straight up on the right side and then realise oh, no, its the other side..and walkkkk all the way around the car to the other side. frustrates me!

mati mati mati.

bamsmashsquicksquack!

this was what happened to me yesterday night. first, let me explain each picture in detail..

picture 1 : see. i was the first car. together with another car on my right hand side, waiting for the red light. as i waited, i was shivering in the cold and grooving to the music on the radio. anyway, the arrows indicate the direction of flow of the traffic. those striped area indicates pavement of somekind. and this T-junction is close by one another, being that one junction to another junction is not far and wide apart, its close and near-apart.

picture 2 : then, i saw a car coming from my opposite direction, driving just smoothly. and then, out of no where, i also see a car coming from the other direction, on my left, coming on at quite a speed. at that moment, i think of nothing, of course. still grooving, still shivering.

picture 3 : out of a sudden, without warning, i realised that both cars were not stopping. what made matter worst was, the 'striped area' between those car A and car B is a fly-over, thus, neither car can see each other. then in about 2 seconds later, both the cars did not stop, BAM!SMASH!SQUICKSQUAK! after bamsmashsquicksquak...in that split of .5 seconds, because of the impact, car A changed direction, and because it was travelling at quite a speed, it lost control after colliding with car B, and changed direction going towards me. at that angle (in broken lines), drawn above.

at that moment, as i witness the whole bamsmashsquicksquak then the-car-losing-its-control-towards-me, i thought, madafaka, its gonna hit me! its so gonna gonna hit me. and i sit there helplessly on the driver's seat of the car. staring at car A.

my reflex was to turn my steering to the right, and, yes, i did so.

but at about just 3 meters shy of hitting me/my car. the driver managed to gain control of the car and turn towards the patch of grass. (as drawn)

the front of car B was as good as crumpled metal.

not long after, the lights turned green. i left but cars beside me, at the back of me all stayed, gasping in disbelief. i, on the other hand, tackled my shock by driving away...while still absorbing the shockness, and while the adrendaline rush in my blood cools off.

then as i reflash, you know what stupid faak i did? though, i turn my steering, it would not help anyhows, because my foot was still on the brakes. tight on the brakes. what the hell... now i know how anxiety and panic can cause a person to not react and think right.

if you all might not know, if i were to die, in a situation which is unforeseen, i would wanna die in a tragic car accident. this experience was the closest i have come to an accident. though if car A were to hit me, i would not even be injured, what more death. but well, yes, i would wanna die in a tragic accident. just seems a nice way to die.

but oh, well...

my sandwiches.

yesterday, i had a bag full filled with cookies, sandwiches and a cuppa coffee. i placed it on the passenger seat and was on my way driving home. with a tendency to drive at super fast speed, i accelerated and accelerated. it was also because i could see that all the traffic lights ahead of me was all greeeen. so anyway, as i was near to passing the traffic light ahead of me, it turned yellow then red. i had to make a sudden stop because there are cameras on the lights.

so anyway, i stopped. sudden. stop. and with the great inertia, that bag fell to the floor. still driving, i quickly pick up the bag to prevent the coffee from spilling. luckily, it did not spill, just a little splash, as the lid was on tight enough. and all the cookies was still in the bag. but damn it, my sandwiches was all over the floor. and they were touching the floor already.

i was so frustrated with myself. frustrated with the existance of inertia. frustrated that i had to drive so fast. frustrated that i may not be able to eat my sandwiches anymore. frustrated at the floor. ergh!!!!!!!!!!!!

frustrated, while still driving, i bend all the way to the floor of the passenger seat and i picked up one of the sandwich and stuffed into my mouth. boy, it tasted good. it was a turkey and swiss sandwich. and then the other one.

it was night, it was dark, and i was driving and there were plenty of cars on my left and right, so i could not check if there were any foreign particle but what the hell, and just ate it.

ask me why i did that?

because i am mad at the floor that it touched my sandwiches first, even before i get to touch it.

because i am mad at the floor for taking my sandwiches virginity even before i get to. the floor UNvirgined my sandwiches.

and therefore, i had to show the floor who is boss.

and that is why i did what i did.

stupid floor.

this counselor..

for the last few days, i have been doing some revision for an evaluation test that i have to take in order to enroll into college for the spring intake in January. i found out that i totally dang it, forgot my trigonometry and some math formula. i seriously cannot imagine that something that comes so automatically to me a year ago, i would totally forget it now. anyway, so on Tuesday, i took the test, finally, praying that i will somehow pull through.

it was a 4 paper, untimed test. reading, writing, essay-writing and math. because its untimed, i took my time to do it. and math was the last section of the test. and trigonometry was the last topic in the math test. and by then, it was already since 4 and 1/2 hours ago that i sat there. so when came to the trigonometry questions, i was too washed out to even think. so those long complicated questions, i did not bother thinking and just guessed an answer. but anyway, overall, i did well for math, just not that well for the trigonometry part.

so after that, i went to see a counselor. this red-headed counselor was a lil eccentric. i think. she talks to herself and has an eccentric fidgetty manner. but anyway, so after she put my test results in the system, and then we talked about what classes i must take for the first semester...blablabla...and there are 3 classes that i have to take in my first semester. and that makes 9 credit hours. at first, i have no idea what '9 credit hours' meant. the counselor was explaining to me that probably 3 classes would be more than enough for me.

to me, 3 classes, is like, what? only 3? but then, i asked her, can i take more than 3 classes? she said yes, but you will be spending 9 hours for this classes already. and she was advicing me not to take anymore classes if i don't have to.

so i was like huh? what talking you? so i asked, err, 9 hours, being 9 hours a day? and her answer was, no, 9 hours a week. [9 hours a WEEK. <>. i was thinking, she must be kidding me. is 9 hours a week a lot? my god.] in a week, i have 168 hours, and taking up 9 of that 168 would kill me? i don't think so. and besides, come to think of it, i have spent 9 hours and more in school before. and many times. sometimes, more than 2 days in a row.

this counselor, ah, was of no help. whatever that i asked, i did not get the answer i want. real bedebah.

anyway, i was asked where i came from. so i said Malaysia. and she said, 'oh, Indonesia, the country with the most population of Muslims.' then i said, 'i came from Malaysia.' and she went 'oh,oh, but its near Indonesia right?' so to not make her feel bad about herself, i made as if it was an ok mistake. so i said, 'yes, it is, it is also near Singapore.' and she was, 'ya. ya.' but i doubt she knows.

and then at the end of our fruitless session, she said, 'so Malaysia huh, not Indonesia. ah, stupid Americans.' i was like, oooook, you don't have to be so hard on yourself. gis. what the hell? haha.

haih. apala.

handwritten-writings.

this is how SS i can get. deal with it, ok.

handwriting can say a lot about a person. like the Zara (if i am not mistaken) section, in the Star newspapers that allows readers to write to them and with that, they interpret what they learn about you through your handwriting.

i remembered because Sui Ying, Thanussha and I wanted to write to Zara but end up not doing it.

anyway, it would be fun to know how to read a person throught their handwriting. and i do wonder what my handwriting says about myself. but well, since i do not have the knowledge of reading handwriting, the right way, i am good at analysing and commenting on handwritings, my way.

my handwriting has received many many uncountable compliment. i want to deny them but the generousity of compliments presented to me just would not allow me to deny the fact that my handwriting is actually what they say it is.

my handwriting has changed a lot throught the course of time. though usually handwritings do not differ that much from time to time but somehow, mine took a toll for change when i entered secondary school. i don't know how and i don't exactly know why but it just did. but for the last 6 years, my handwritng remained pretty much the same, except it has revolved a little bit for the better. (why would i wanna change my handwriting if they make people cannot help but to compliment, right?)

what do you call this, an ability or talent or what? but anyway, with an ability to produce such handwriting, i am usually responsible for everything that involves writing/drawing of block letters, like on banners or writing reports or just whatever that needs handwriting as neat and as 'ejane' as can be back in school. haha. (i do not know what adjective to use to describe my handwriting, so i figured 'ejane' would best describe it. i know what you are thinking right now, but hey, i am also humble enough to use the word, 'usually'.)

the one compliment that i am truly honoured to ever receive is from Mr. Chan, a one true master of perfect handwriting. well, he said that if there is one person in the whole school who can write better or as good as him, it would be ejane. no compliment has yet top that. my math teacher once asked me to change my handwriting, and not write it so ejane-ly as it will slow me down. yes, i do write a little slower than a person would but it does not slow me down very much that i have to give up my handwriting. many also think that i measure and take my time to write every letter but actually it is just a natural flow of my hand.

anyway, my handwriting does not really resemble my personality. how can one who is seldom serious have such serious handwriting. and being that my handwriting has a high level of expectations, it has made me a perfectionist in everything that i need to do, involving my handwriting or something that challenges my creativity.

therefore, i learnt to appreciate other types or handwriting that is not on par as mine. (hahahhhaha.)

these are analysis of my friends' handwritings;

beh shuh pyng - let me tell you that she has hell of a handwriting. hell, i mean by not hell - nice but hell as in it brings hell to everyone that has to deal with it. teachers can barely read them. many of my friends don't comment on her handwriting when they need to copy her homework but in my case, i give her no mercy (though i am the one copying her homework). its like being in a situation where you are so desperate that you need to copy homeworks and there you are stuck, trying to read her handwriting, word for word. not making it any easier. and in other situation, when i have time to slowly read her handwriting, i will go, 'beh, whats this?' another 5seconds past, 'beh, this one?' another 1 minute past, 'beh aaa, chi leh si ha mi lai?'.

the problem with her handwriting is, its so thin. sooo thin. it barely has any width to it. therefore, everything appears like a staright line. everything. sometimes, her 'i' can be fatter than her 'e', and that is how awful her handwriting is. she makes her letter all stand on the line on tip toe, and that makes it even harder to read. she tries too hard to change her handwriting, resulting in such severe distortion.

jennifer - her handwriting certainly do not look like her appearance. she is all neat, all combed, all ironed and all tugged in. but her handwriting is like tau geh that is growing with no sense of direction. hahaha. though, i do not face as much difficulty to read it compared to beh's one but sometimes when laziness kicks in, then it would be a headache. i don't know why, but i think this happens because her fingers are too long, therefore, when she writes, she does not need move her palm, instead, her palm stick to where it is at one position, and her fingers are able to move all the way to the end of the book. and poof, growing tau geh.

yan ming and shea yuin - they both posses similar handwriting, that is very layback and easy to read. i would say that it is actually an ideal style of writing, as it does not take much effort and its easy on the eyes.

sui ying - its also an easy-to-read handwriting but it has a certain sharp-ness in her handwriting. that is unusual and that lets you know straight away that its teoh's handwriting. well, this, i think is due to her sharp fingers (???) maybe.

and this makes up the people that were involved in the 'scribbles' project.

i know i should stop myself, because when it comes to handwritings, i have a whole lot to say.

wonderful handwritings are not overrated.

*inspired by sui ying recent post.
**i know beh will like this post.