Friday, August 7, 2009

i need to remember to breathe

in the many days that i am available for an emotion rollercoaster, it had to be today. it had to be this.

i admit that in all possible outcomes, i have never forseen this as the outcome. probably it is not the final one yet, but it is still enough to break my spirit by half. probably the situation as i know is not the situation in truth but will i ever know what is happening behind that wall, behind that telephone line.

i will depart this chance very soon and for this chance to come again would still be a long time coming. but it is not that i did not try. i tried. and this was probably the hardest i've ever tried.

i blame no one. maybe something went wrong along the way. the interseption of time, communication, character, technical and faith caused the failure of it all.

this is a feeling of your one saviour that turned to be your murderer. ouch.

give me light. give me guidance. give me bravery. give me direction. because i do not want to regret this.

make action. take action. do action. i do not want to lose this.

if this actually fails, its a heavy grievance that i would need to pack with me and be tagged along for months and months to come.

for the sun to shine again, you have to go through cloudy days. i guess.

2 comments:

Jun said...

why so hard to und your blog wan?? haihz.. pity those whose english is not as complicated as yours la weh.. XD

bAbyK said...

wei...
dun emo la....
u'll be happy soon....