my two parts of '08.

its already the 29th. new year is coming. Earth finally made it around the sun.

its been a long year, ain't it? though, from day to day, month to month basis, time seems to just fly by but if you look back to the beginning of the year, its been quite a loooong year. long damned year.

my year is kinda separated into two. the first half and the second half.

my first half of the year, was by far the most care-free, fun, krazy drunk driving year. no school. no homework, just absolute freedom and time spent on what i want to do. at least most of the time, yes. my time spent around friends. on fun fun fun stuff and just an ultimate insignificant stuff that i chose to spend my time on. because the period after SPM and before results, IS the time that you will never have after that.

the beginning of the year, many hours of my time was still devoted to school affliated stuff. like finishing up the school magazine. and of course, training the school netball team. that was time most well spent. netball, ah.

when not doing school stuff, i spend my time driving around. driving people around, driving myself around from one place to another.

the first half of the year, many of my evenings was spend in the Lake Gardens, in the squash court, in the gym and in my garden, playing badminton. despite rain or shine.

Chinese New Year, birthdays after birthdays.

baking, cooking, inventing.

when results came, people started getting busy with applications of all kinds, whereas, it was not much of a hassle for me. so my string of insignificant activities continues.

all in all, life could not have been any more wasted and fun, at the same time.

came the second half of my year. the black of my white first half. the shittiest of my life, by far. but well, my second half of this year (which will also be most years of my shitting life) spend here, in the United States of not-Malaysia. the first half to the second half of my year was like a period of my life filled with friends to a period of total subzero number of friends.

from being a driver for a year to a passenger for 5months. thus, depriving me from A LOT of stuff.

from never-in-a-second of my life living without a maid to living without a maid every second.

from squash every evening to a country 9.5 out of 10 people never heard off what is squash.

from not living with my dada for the last 10 years to living with him, i have to be real honest, i am still only getting used to, even after 7 months.

from never working in my life to working 5 days a week, and the only time i get human interaction that keeps me sane.

this shows that i spend most of my time of my second half, being real pathetic, in my way of life. i work, do chores and watch movies. after i am able to drive, at least i spend many hours getting lost as a way to spend time. movies, i have watched almost a hundred movies now, in 7 months. and the rest of the time in between all that, being pathetic.

the second part of my year, was very well expected and anticipated. but i was stil very bump out, initially. ya. i am still a lil now. but its been 7 months, how long should i stay pathetic? 7 months is a long time. probably some people i know would have forgotten me already, that is how long 7 months is already.

i try not to be pathetic and see the silver lining in my new life. whenever i start ranting to my friends on how madafaaking pathetic i am, they always tell me, don't worry, when you find friends, you will be better. but not having friends is one matter of many matters. being and living in a new place is just not that easy. yet again, humans are always not content with what they have, those who are home yearns to be somewhere and like me, away, faraway from home, yearns not to be here. but that just to bad, i was never excited about it.

for this second half, i've been on the biggest rollercoaster of emotions. and no one sits beside me on this ride. its me to make myself happy, when i am made unhappy, its me to make myself happy. when i feel talkative, its me i talk to. when i feel like going out for lunch, its myself and the magazine on the table. when i cry, its me who comforts myself. when i am angry, its my tears i put out on. when i feel like laughing, i have no one to make me laugh. thus, i do not laugh. i think i might have lost my humour altogether.

i am getting so used to living alone, i sometime feels like the old woman that lives with her seven cats.

but it is the beginning of the rest of my days.

this year has been a year filled with bumps and lumps of life, and i bulldozered everyone.

2009 will not come with any suprises for me. and i am not hoping for any. it would just be another 5 months of pure begitulah.

i shall have no complaints. come what may.