"the price of pleasure."

not shopping.

but pornography.

yesterday, after english class, i was ready to go home. nap..lunch..sun... . as i was passing the Eagle Hall, my steps came to a hault - human traffic jam. i looked throught the crowd and on the wide screen, plastered against the wall of the hall, it said, "The Price of Pleasure: pornography, sexuality and relationships." ah, no wonder. so, i decided to join the crowd. signed in. took my seat and anticipated. it was full house.

what was, was a professor in journalism from University of Texas, Dr. Robert Jensen, was invited to the school for a showing of a film (more like documentary to me) titled, "The Price of Pleasure". yah. Dr. Jensen has been studying on the issue of pornography in the american culture of the past 20 years and he had also consulted in the making of the film. he also wrote a book on pornography.

before the filming of the documentary, Dr. Jensen adviced that there would be explicits scenes in the documentary. he also mentioned that images that would be shown maybe hard to swallow by some - because many people in the hall may never have seen pornography. i thought he said that with some sarcasm, but i may be wrong. because he then followed to share that according to his close study, 99.9% of men in america watches/watched pornos or sexual materials of somekind. i was shocked, that is a serious number.

but anyway, i thought, what the hell, it cannot be that bad, that explicit so make me sick. though mind you, i have never exposed my eyes to any of such material. it is that i very rarely can be made sick.

if i were to tell what i see throughout the 52 minutes of filming, i would fail badly. but i would share some shocking facts i've learned and disturbing images i saw. but mind what i am about to write...

• so, did you know that pornography is a 10-14 billion dollars industry? it is more than the NFL, NBA and MLB put together. (american Football, Basketball and Baseball respectively. the three biggest-most popular sport in america).
• the most popular pornography is violence. and the two most popular violent act in pornography are choking and gagging. do you know how gagging occurs? yes, when doing orally, the penis would stick so deep down the throat of the woman that it would trigger gagging. and that is how the men achieve pleasure. choking the woman while intercourse was suppose to be very arrousing.
• there is award shows for porn stars. prestigous award ceremony. i don't want to know what category they have and i am glad the film did not tell. "25 years ago, we were in the cheapest hotel in Las Vegas, and after 25 years, and where are we? - in the most expensive hotel in Las Vegas."
• a porn star was telling about her market prices. there are girl-to-girl scenes, man-to-her scenes and mEn-to-her scenes all at different price. the max is one in the mouth, one in the vagina and two in the anal (or maybe three) = $13,000.
• ATM. not Automatic Teller Machine. it is Anal To Mouth. i chose not to describe but do your math. "you are practically eating shit."
• every year, there are about 100,000 women auditioning to land a role in the pornography scene.
• 'A-list' porn stars earns millions just by selling sex toys of their duplicate body parts.
• Harvard and University of Chicago have their own porn magazine.
• there are granny pornos and also pregnant women pornos. child animated pornos.
• ...

above are all i hope i remember. images were super, extremely, entirely, absolutely, disturbing, sickening. though blurred. one was a man and a woman scened in the toilet, the woman leaning againt the toilet bowl. and [probably] when the man was at his peak of orgy, he pushed the head of the woman into the bowl - into the water and then flushed. scenes of women gagging and one scene of how women are made to gag were the worst.

i definately did not anticipated all that. i was at the egde. i could feel last night's fried rice up to my throat. i had to look away.it is just no joke. and it was mentioned during the disccussion with the professor that the film was only the tip of the iceberg. i cannot imagine neither would i want to know what lies beneath the water?

i am sorry if i might have made you feel like how i felt. if i had that power. but i had to let it out my chest.

the world is so sick.