restroom sense.

(blow, pooofff, poooofffff, this dusty old heck.)

I am writing this as a very pathetic birthday present (or actually a motivational excuse to update my blog) for Jennifer. She said that she had been reading my blog again and again, 185 posts, until she had memorized them, how greatly exaggerated, but I'll buy it. I am sure I've lost all my readers, but hey, lets start all over again. Alright. What I am about to write is something that I've had in my head a long long time. In fact, I think about writing it almost everyday, at least, one time a day. Haha. You'll know.

So, people, what do you do, besides releasing your waste, while in the restroom? Maybe this only relates to the girls, because boys usually don't sit, unless there is a major project (or if you are gay). Well, I don't know about you all girls, but I do many observations, and I have some experiences to share; life learning lessons to share.

Firstly, whenever you go to the public restrooms, choose the cubicle without the flouresant light shining right over it. Seriously, that is very important, because the cubicles with lights shining right over, cast the darkest shadow, ehem, hence, ehem, whatever that you do, and or have, I don't know, you know, can be seen clearly by the person beside you (who is gonna be me). And notice, public restrooms usually do not have the joining side walls all the way down to the floor, it usually hangs a few centimeters high. So ya, shadow actions can be seen..can can. Am I starting to creep you out now?
Another thing, if you have a major bowel locomotion, be it solid or gaseous, do not spread your legs so wide that the person next to your cubicle can see your shoe. Do not. Because you know, if that person next to you is me, you know that when you come out from the restroom, I'd be there spotting that shoe to see how the sound of your bowel locomotion matches with that pretty face. Have some common restroom sense, really. Unless you really don't care for your dignity. Oh, boy, dignity. I will always remember that face, and that shoe.

If you need to gas bomb, pull the trigger before you sit on the bowl. Because, the shape of the bowl, in simple imagineer physics, you know, causes echo, therefore, amplifies the sound. And you really don't want the force of the air to push the toilet bowl water upwards and wetting your bum bums, that would be quite nasty.

Oh, also, if you are carrying any bag, hang it, do not put it on the floor, because I can also see it. If I don't see your shoe, I'd see your bag, they are both very spot-able. Besides, its really more hygiene to hang it.

Lastly, do not do your finishing touches near the crack of the door, yes, it is only a thin crack, but a thin crack is still a crack. If you are gonna spend an hour in the restroom, try avoiding your face, or possibly your whole self, to be visible through the door crack, is it not embarassing? Cause I'd go, "Hey, that is my classmate taking a hard poop." I know, I know, pooping is natural, its human, but still society classifies pooping as an unsocietal action, you are supposedly not suppose to do it in public. So yeah, do it at home. Then you are safe from people like me, or me.

So now you know, what I do when I am in the restroom. I listen and I observe. But no, I am not a perv, though I sound like it. Haha.

So, here Jenn, Happy Birthday. tehee.

di manakah wajah,
di manakah suara?
di manakah khabar,
di manakah semua?

dalam gelap
kedengaran sepi
kuatnya bunyi sunyi
menganggunya sanubari.

di manakah kebenaran
di manakah keberanian?
di manakah kepastian
di manakah senyuman?

dalam diam
fikiran berkeliharan
semangat terpendam
keluhan berpanjangan.

redhanya rela
pahitnya rasa
sejuknya perasaan
ini kebenaran.

ubat pilu.

inilah saat yang saya amat memerlukan untuk menulis blog. selama selepas semboyan berbunyi, tidak pernah lagi saya merasa sebegini. penulisan blog seakan mengubati hati yang serba pilu. hanya malam itu, terasanya perasaan pilu dan sedih.

ajal semakin tiba buat saya. walaupun masih lagi ada beberapa hari di depan mata, tapi sudah tentu, hari-hari yang akan mendatang, pasti berlalu dengan sekelip mata, tanpa bunyi, tanpa suara.

setiap kali bila menjelang hari-hari terakhir, setiap kali saya mengeluh tanpa habis-habisan. tapi siapa yang sebenarnya mendengar keluhan ini? sendiri ajalah. siapa yang benar-benar memahami perasaan gelap ini? ah, susah hendak diluahkan, apatah lagi untuk dikongsi.

bilakah akan saya sedari dan bilakah akan dapat saya menyesuaikan diri dengan realiti ini? perlukah saya melalui kepiluan ini setiap kali berpisah? rindu yang terpendam dalam hati susah untuk dibuang.

biarkanlah. tidak terdaya walaupun apa.

SEMBOYAN BERBUNYI KUAT.

IT IS THE TIME OF YEAR AGAIN! SUMMER HOTNESS. SUMMER GILANESS. AND MOST OF ALL SUMMER KEBAHAGIAAN. KINI AKAN BERMULA. BIAR SISA-SISA HARIKU BERMULA.



p/s i know. since February. i hope fella friends and readers would stay tuned. thanks for the loyalty.

my February.

February is and has been a busy month this year. many events coincidently falls on February. February never fails to entertain. because its my month.

for this year, the Chinese New Year is also Love's Day. too bad for some love birds. gotta stay home with the family to celebrate the new year's but its ok, everyday can be love day. but sure hope everyday is not family day, now thats die-able! haha.

and for me and my bunch of friends, February comes with an extra event - a 2 days party. though we have not literally tried partying for 48 hours straight, but we should, one day! its my two other best friends' birthday on the 18th and mine on the 19th. for this year, i am glad and of course, very envious, my friends had had a good celebration. they had a star gazing party, how about a change! that was a pretty nice idea. and yan promised that when i come back, we would star gaze on her roof. i hope she remembers her words. and then on my birthday, my friends had gathered at ng's house to wish me. and had made me a tevee star! haha.

it started with ng calling me on msn, i thought it was really weird, as we barely even chat on msn on a regular basis..and ng is calling me?! i thought the world was ending. and i had asked jennifer "why is ng calling me on msn...is she with you?" and jennifer said "no. why?" how stupid. but anyway, i answered ng's call. haha. and it was only yan and ng on the screen. i thought i did hear jennifer's voice behind.......haha. then ng covered the webcam with her hands, i thought she was making out with yan, not wanting me to see. oh well,.. . then when she removed her hand...jennifer, tee xin, jen yong, and of course, ng and yan, singing for me. it was hilarious. but also touching. =) thanks you all.

and very suprisingly, this year's birthday came with many other suprises. pleasant suprises. one thing that i thought was real awesomus was a 3 feet spongebob pinata. i had 3 cakes to make wishes, but one was virtual but real cake. haha. go figure.

anyway, i am very happy with this birthday. i guess i am finally 20. and when my mada wished me, she mentioned to see me as a "full grown lady". i told her she should not be very hopeful on that part. full grown + lady = too much to expect from little jane here. to those who hope i stay the krazy same, you have better chances than my mada. haha, i pity my mada, but i always try. we know that.

i miss being 19 already. 19 is like a baby, and suddenly, 20 is like so lau kok kok. anyway, now that i am 20, according to myself, i still have another 9 birthdays to celebrate.

my February did not start off quite well, but it proceeded with a bang, and i hope will end with a bigger bang. and for everyone too.